Returns & Exchanges

If your purchase has ceased to be, or if you find yourself unsatisfied with your shrubbery, we offer a 30-day return policy provided the item is not pushing up the daisies. Please ensure all items are returned in their original condition, lest we taunt you a second time.

Return Process

• 1.
  Consult the Ministry

  Log into your account and visit the Ministry of Silly Returns to initiate your request and receive a unique authorization code.

• 2.
  Prepare the Vessel

  Place your item securely in its original packaging; ensure no swallows (African or European) are trapped inside before sealing.

• 3.
  The Quest to the Post

  Affix the provided prepaid shipping label and embark on a journey to your nearest drop-off point, avoiding any three-headed giants along the way.

• 4.
  The Final Reckoning

  Once our inspectors verify your item is merely resting and not actually deceased, we will issue a full refund to your original spoils of war.